It happens far too often—you head into Thanksgiving dinner ready to enjoy yourself and then Aunt Linda makes off-hand comments about your size, your child’s size and has a new diet recommendation to share.
This situation can be abrupt and off-putting, and so often puts us into a state of uncertainty of how to proceed. Do I call out Aunt Linda on these off-putting comments? Do I just let it slide? How do I respond if it’s said in front of my kids? (I certainly don’t want them to be impacted by diet talk!)
Here are my 3 best responses for handling diet and body comments around holiday dinner occasions. It’s certainly not an exhaustive list, but these are my go-to moves for shutting things down quickly.
Boundary-focused Response: “In our family, we ask that others not comment on bodies or food in that way.”
Short, sweet and simple. We often feel that we owe others more of an explanation than that- but we don’t. We can state our boundaries clearly and ask that they are respected, free of any explanations.
Humor-led Response: “Oh my, I didn’t expect such an in-depth educational lesson on diets and body analysis. I’ll take my mashed potatoes without a side of guilt. Maybe we can shift to some lighter topics…”
If the person in question doesn’t respect the boundaries as clearly, or if you’re uncomfortable getting too serious, a humor-and-shift approach steers the conversation in a direction that heads away from dangerous territory.
(A bit more) Vulnerable and Open Response: “I have had issues with being too focused on calories and body issues, and it left me just feeling crappy. I’m going to focus on enjoyment with the family instead today.”
This approach has a more vulnerable feeling to it, but talking to others in this way does help them to understand that this kind of negative language around bodies and food has been actively harmful in your world, and therefore, it is important for them to move away from the topic.
Whichever way you choose to respond, please know that it is your right to ask others to move away from harmful conversation about bodies and food- and- it’s your right to be able to enjoy the holiday! So, give yourself permission to rest; care for yourself and your body on Thanksgiving Day!
Yorumlar